IF  …by Alice Vining

(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If you have to walk a white dog,

if you need coffee,

if you hope to get to school

or long to go to work,

or if you want to wear

the lovely boots you got for Christmas,

forget about it.

It’s mud season.

If you think you have

a burst appendix,

grin and bear it.

If you are in labor,

don’t push.

If your tooth aches,